


All Joking Aside

by nagi_schwarz



Series: Juris Imprudence [37]
Category: Stargate Atlantis, Stargate SG-1
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-14
Updated: 2017-07-14
Packaged: 2018-12-02 06:24:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11503614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nagi_schwarz/pseuds/nagi_schwarz
Summary: Written for the comment_fic prompt: "Any, Any, the sometimes nonsensical conversations lawyers and court personnel engage in between hearings."Nathan, now promoted to paralegal, witnesses juvenile court at its finest, and juvenile law at its worst.





	All Joking Aside

Nathan knew that accompanying Daniel to court was important, so he could understand what went on in Daniel’s hearings, what kind of information he had to have available beforehand so he could prepared. Nathan also knew that court in real life was not nearly as serious as seen on TV. Nathan was further aware that juvenile court, and child welfare in particular, was its own special kind of atmosphere, because the same team players were brought together over and over again. Once they were out of their advocacy roles, they were friends. The system was adversarial, but the people didn’t have to be. Nathan knew all that in theory, but he had yet to experience it in real life.

Judge Tallman called a recess so Hal, one of the public defenders, could have a private conversation with his client out in the hallway.

Dale the bailiff didn’t send everyone else out of the courtroom, so they were left in their seats, attorneys and clients at counsel table, Nathan sitting behind Daniel with a notepad balanced on his knee so he could take notes.

And then Gary, the prosecutor, leaned across the gap between counsel tables to the defense table where the other public defender, Seth, was sitting.

“Hey Seth, I have to know, did you see the new CLE they have coming up? About criminalizing non-action,” Gary said.

Seth blinked. “Wait, what?”

“Yeah. Some guy is presenting about putting criminal liability on people who fail to act when someone else needs saving,” Gary said.

Seth huffed. “That’s insane.”

Seth’s client, a timid woman, blinked at him.

Daniel said, “I read the preview. The guy’s parents are Holocaust survivors. I understand where he’s coming from.”

“It sounds nice on the surface,” Gary offered, “but how would you possibly enforce it? How could you draft a law so the wrong people weren’t prosecuted? How much peril do you have to put yourself in to avoid criminal liability?”

“Yeah,” Seth agreed. “I mean, me taking on a mugger is different from, say -” He pointed at Nathan - “you taking on a mugger.”

“One mugger is a piece of cake, assuming he doesn’t get the drop on me and I’m not intoxicated,” Nathan said. 

Seth eyed him. “Oh, please. You’re a twig. Have you even finished growing?”

Nathan lifted his chin and looked right at him in a way he usually wasn’t allowed to, because he wasn’t wearing Jack O’Neill’s face, a face lined with the years of experience Nathan shared, had in his head too.

“Nope,” Nathan drawled. “Still could take on a mugger. Even one your size. One Gary’s size - well, I’d just run away from him. Maybe jog away slowly. Wait for him to have a heart attack.”

Gary patted his sizeable belly proudly. “Yeah, but back when I was a Marine, I’d have -”

“Killed everyone in the building while I took out a five-year lease with an option to buy?” Nathan asked.

Seth looked as confused as his client.

Dale the bailiff hooted. “You Chair Force, kid?”

Gary offered the Marine  _ ooh-rah! _ Then he lit up. “Hey, what’s the difference between a pilot and a pig?”

Dale said, without missing a beat, “A pig doesn’t turn into a pilot when it gets drunk.”

Seth burst into laughter, and the clerk giggled behind her hand. The caseworker giggled too. Daniel looked only faintly amused.

Nathan said, “An airman in a bar turned to the man next to him and said, ‘Want to hear a Marine joke?’ The man said, ‘Before you tell that joke, you should know, I’m a Marine, and I’m six feet tall, weigh two-hundred; the guy next to me is a Marine who’s six-two and weighs two-twenty-five; and the guy next to him is also a Marine, and he’s six-four and two-fifty. You still want to tell that joke?’ ‘Nah,’ said the airman, ‘I don’t want to have to explain it three times.’”

“Oooh, burn,” Dale said, and the clerk and caseworker laughed some more.

“You’re a sharp one, kid,” Gary said, chuckling good-naturedly. “You a new associate?”

“He’s my paralegal, actually,” Daniel said. “Nathan Neilson.”

The others in the courtroom introduced themselves officially. Nathan minded his manners, smiled and nodded.

“You going to be coming to court with Daniel all the time?” Seth asked.

“Nope, only to big trials when he’ll need an extra set of hands. I’m only shadowing him for today, then it’s back to the trenches with me,” Nathan said.

“You planning on going to law school?” Gary asked.

“No, I’m too lazy for that. Paralegal and done.” Nathan shrugged.

“You have years ahead of you to change your mind,” Seth added.

“Don’t do it,” Gary said immediately.

Seth’s client looked alarmed.

“Seriously,” Gary said. He leaned in. “If you don’t want to be a lawyer, don’t go to law school just because you have nothing better to do.”

“Because then I’ll become the guy who thinks it’s a good idea to put legal liability on someone like Daniel because he shouldn’t risk his pretty face in a fist-fight with a mugger, right?”

“My face isn’t pretty,” Daniel said, “and I can defend myself.”

“Your face is too pretty,” Dale the bailiff said. “And it’s my job to defend you.”

Seth rolled his eyes. “No one’s going to try to mug you at the courthouse.”

“Actually,” Dale began, but then the judge’s door swung open, and Judge Tallman stepped back into the room just as Hal and his client re-entered.

Dale called, “All rise!”

And like that, it was game on again, Daniel and Seth and Gary looking perfectly serious. Seth’s client looked even more bewildered.

_ That’s right, _ Nathan wanted to tell her.  _ That’s what lawyers are like when no one’s looking. _

Nathan made a mental note to follow up with Dale, about people attempting muggings at the courthouse. But he never got the chance.

He regretted not making the chance, one day after court, when he and Harmony Larris were kidnapped from the parking lot of the courthouse. They got Harmony first, sucker-punched him second, and all he knew was a black bag over his head before he passed out.

He came to seconds later, bound and blind on the floor of a vehicle. Probably that dark van he and Harmony had been near right before the kidnappers struck.

“Well, shit.”

Harmony said, voice faintly muffled, “You said a bad word.”

Nathan tested the bonds on his ropes. “You can tell on me when we get home. Now, where are you?”

“Over here.”

For the first time Nathan seriously, seriously regretted cutting that lab tracking chip out of himself. “Okay. Come toward my voice. Let’s get out of here.”

“Not so fast, young Nathan,” an unfamiliar man said, and Nathan’s world went black again.

His last thought was,  _ Damn. _

Harmony said, “You said a  -”


End file.
